Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
