she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
