last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
