I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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