wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
