i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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