Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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