The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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