it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize