Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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