can we get nightvision for the apartment?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
