I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I had to cum in my sink.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
