people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
