I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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