So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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