8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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