Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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