I'd wear matching sweaters with you
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize
