You smell like a Billy Joel song
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
