Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
