Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
