Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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