what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
