covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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