what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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