What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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