At least make sure they are 18
Why
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
