I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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