Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
