The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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