why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
