Michael Bay diarrhea
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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