no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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