I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
