So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
