dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
