that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize