There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
