Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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