And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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