Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
