YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize