Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
