My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
