So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
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Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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