I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize