At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
