David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We need a shit load of segways right now
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
