I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
