You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
