i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
