when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
