just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Found the puke drawer
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
