i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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