Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
