When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
