I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
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Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
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Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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