There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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