i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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