I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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