So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
