from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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