you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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