he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
