During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wish i was in the wii world.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
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