She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
