I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
