I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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