Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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