You're my little dorito
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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