I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
